Divorce Disputes Resolved with Mediation

Marriage break up - split of the matrimonial property and other assets.

Dont do it!

Divorce is really expensive. Most people, who have not been through it before, have no idea how expensive it actually is. Not only is it going to cost you approximately half of your net worth, you will have to pay, out of the 50% or so that is left, all the legal costs in gaining that extra one or two percent, provided you actually end up agreeing on it. The best advice I can give anyone contemplating breaking up with their current partner is to open up a new Google window and look up marriage counselor. I will even make it easier for you. Click here. If you can mend the relationship, then this is your best option. If you can't, not only will you have the financial cost of the split, but it will be very draining on your emotions and it will adversely effect you, your immediate family and friends.

I have to do it!

Ok, you are still determined to go through with the separation. There is a more cost effective and quicker way than letting your lawyers negotiate on your behalf. Lawyers charge by the hour. Is it in their best interest for your split of matrimonial assets to be completed quickly and efficiently? Lawyers are an important part of a matrimonial split. They are good at advising you of what your legal entitlements are and they are good at drafting up agreements from your instructions. Personally, I don't know any full time lawyers that are trained negotiators. Likewise, I don't know any full time lawyers that are trained ear nose and throat doctors. Would you ever ask your lawyer to take your tonsils out?

How does mediation work for matrimonial asset splits?

A matrimonial asset dispute is no different to a commercial civil dispute, except for the fact that the parties are usually more emotionally involved. There is plenty on information in this site on the mediation process. Matrimonial asset split agreements are slightly different to a commercial contract. For a matrimonial asset split agreement to be legally enforceable and binding upon both sides. the agreement needs to be signed by your lawyer. Your lawyer will only complete this task once they have completed their statutory obligations with regards to your agreement which includes explaining to you the full implications of the agreement. Accordingly, lawyers for both sides are required to be present at a mediation.

What involvement do lawyers have in a matrimonial asset split mediation?

Primarily the lawyers have four tasks. They:

1. Advise their client of their legal entitlements and, should the matter proceed to court, advise their client on what this process is going to cost them.
2. Challenge the other side's lawyer on points of law.
3. Write up the final agreement if, and when, required.
4. Explain to their client the full extent of the agreement they have signed. The lawyer must then also sign the agreement.

The mediator will direct the conversation between the two people, with the lawyer playing a support role, not the lead act. This way, the mediator will be able to uncover underlying issues so they can be addressed directly and removed as a barrier from settling.

How do I go about using mediation to resolve my matrimonial asset split?

You are more than welcome to contact us at any stage, however, as mediation is a voluntary process, it needs cooperation from both sides for it to happen. Having said this, the most important person you need to agree to utilising mediation is your lawyer. Some lawyers state that mediation is no good for this. In these circumstances, we have had people change lawyers. About 85% of disputes taken to mediation result in a successful settlement. Once your lawyer is in agreement with the mediation strategy, then either they or us can contact the other side to seek the same. The hardest part of the process for us mediators is getting both sides to the mediation table. Once that is accomplished, you are on a path which is moving forward in a positive light.

Thank you for reading this, I hope it has clarified some aspects for you. Should you still have some queries regarding this, then please don't hesitate to call me for an obligation free, confidential chat. You can ring on 0800 746 225 or email me, danny.gelb@mediate.co.nz